


By Your Side Til Ragnarok

by thorkified



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, MCU / Mythology Crossover, Norse Mythology - Freeform, Referenced Birth, Referenced Past Mutilation, Referenced Sex With A Horse (As A Horse), injuries, sleipnir - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 07:57:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14828429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thorkified/pseuds/thorkified
Summary: Norse Mythology/MCU CrossoverAfter Loki gives birth to Sleipnir, Thor is the only one to care about his brother's fate. While the other gods celebrate escaping an unbeneficial oath, Thor worries about his brother, who is badly hurt and injured. For the first time, Thor does not care about himself, only about Loki.





	By Your Side Til Ragnarok

**Author's Note:**

> Thor and Loki are the same as in the MCU, adoptive brothers, but the way Loki is treated in this fic by the gods is the way he was treated in Norse Mythology too. There are several references to it, including the events that lead to Sleipnir's birth. Adapted slightly to fit with the MCU, of course, but not much.

When Loki came out of the forest, holding the eight legged foal in his arms, Thor was the only one who noticed the blood on his tunic and the way his legs were trembling. It was Thor who ran over to his brother and caught him when his legs gave in, preventing him from hurting himself even further. At this point he had no idea what had happened, he just knew that Loki was in pain and bleeding and that was enough to worry him. He forgot about the giant he had just slain, about what might have happened had Loki not interfered.

Careful, Thor takes the foal Loki clings to desperately and puts it down on the ground before looking at his brother again. Loki is paler than Thor has ever seen and blood is splattered all over his tunic, legs and hands. Thor is scared to even touch him, fearing he might cause him even more pain - it's clear that Loki is suffering, even if all that comes from him is a quiet whimper.

“It's okay now, Loki,” Thor mumbles helplessly, hands hovering over Loki's panting body without doing anything. “I promise, it's okay…”

“Did it… did it work?” Loki asks weakly, his voice trembling and gargling.

“Work?” Thor doesn't understand at first, but then it dawns on him. “The builder? It worked, yes. He was a giant who tried to trick us.”

Loki's bloody lips turn into a sarcastic smirk. “Of... course he was, how typical…”

“I slayed him, he's dead,” Thor quickly says and grabs one of Loki's hands carefully. “It's over now, don't worry.”

“Those… damn…”

Thor doesn't hear who Loki damns anymore. His brother is violently shaking for a moment and then just lays still, breath shallow and looking closer to death than life. It's only then that Thor feels the sting in his eyes and wipes them. He sees the foal again, who is trying to stand on shaking legs. Thor counts eight and believes his mind is playing tricks on him.

Since no one else seems to care much about what is going on, Thor takes it on his own to help his brother. As careful as possible he shoves his hands under Loki's back and legs to lift him up. When he begins walking, Loki like a sleeping bride in his arms, the foal follows them. There are many questions Thor has, but none of them is as urgent as helping Loki now, no matter how confusing they are.

Once Thor laid Loki down on the soft sheets of his bed he runs for the healers. Somewhere along the way the foal had fallen behind and now Thor crosses its path again as it continues to trot to Loki's chamber. When he comes back with the healers following him, the foal lays on the bed next to Loki, the snout on his stomach. Thor growls internally and picks it up so the healers can do their work.

Half an hour Thor walks up and down the room, the foal in his arms and stroking its fur absentmindedly. Loki is badly hurt and it takes three of the healers to do anything at all. When they turn around and inform Thor about the reason behind Loki's state, all he can do is stare at them in disbelief.

“My brother did what?” he asks, completely stunned and looks down at Loki.

“This is what we conclude, prince Thor,” one of the healers, a young woman, says quietly. “The Prince is wounded very severely, but he will survive. What we were unable to heal must heal on its own now, I’m afraid.”

Thor nods and waves at the three healers to leave them alone. He sits down on the bed as soon as they are gone, taking one of Loki’s limp hands into his and as he does, the foal raises its head and looks at him. Thor stares at the animal for a moment, unsure whether or not he should hate it. In the end, he realizes that this is not the fault of this poor creature and strokes over its snout with one hand. The foal neighs quietly.

Thor sighs and looks back at his brother. He doesn’t understand how it is even possible, but it must be because the evidence is right here in front of him. If only he would have come back faster, he could have stopped this all from happening in the first place. He knows Loki’s powers, that he can shapeshift and use all kinds of illusionary magic, but this… he didn’t know about this. It’s clear that Odin does not care, nor seem the other gods. They celebrate that the wall is almost complete and that Frey is still with them, but Loki is unimportant in their eyes. Thor had heard the accusations, how they blamed Loki for the danger that had been so close, but he doesn’t share their beliefs. Loki had saved them and he knows it.

“It will be okay again, brother,” Thor promises, gently laying Loki’s hand back down.

Against his father’s protest, Thor decides to stay with Loki in his chambers until he feels better. The healers give him instructions as to how he can help him recover and Thor listens carefully to not do anything wrong - given he is the worst listener, as Loki always calls him, this is not easy for him, but he knows it’s important. He changes his brother’s blood covered tunic, washes him as careful as he can and makes sure he is comfortable.

Despite some struggles and fighting, Thor manages to bring the foal to the stables where he instructs everyone to take care of it the best they can. He knows the foal would rather stay with Loki, but he promises to visit daily at least, which seems to soothe the animal. Thor cannot help it, but he feels like the foal’s eyes are those of his brother - knowing, sad and alluringly green. Without even trying to, Thor feels sympathy with it.

Three days pass like this, without Loki waking up. Thor paces up and down his brother’s room, barely leaving long enough to eat and visit the stables before he is back at his side. He only sleeps when his exhaustion overwhelms him and never long, fearing that Loki might wake up while he is asleep. He does what the healers told him, keeps Loki warm and inspects his wounds to see if they are healing properly, but other than that he is forced to wait.

On the fourth day, Loki finally opens his eyes. Thor is sitting next to him, a book in his hand and trying his best to read so they don’t sit in complete silence, when suddenly a hand drops down on his page and he looks up.

“Loki!” his voice is filled with relief and joy, but when he sees his brother’s eyes it simply crumbles away. There is so much pain in them, so much fear and sadness, that it makes his stomach clench. “Brother...”

Loki doesn’t speak, so Thor reaches for his hand, but the mere second his fingers brush over Loki’s skin he jolts back, as if he had burned himself. Loki’s eyes widen in panic and his breath fastens and Thor is completely startled for a moment, unsure what to do or think.

“Don’t…” Loki whispers, tears filling his eyes. “Please don’t…”

Thor swallows the lump in his throat and closes the book to put it away. He feels hot and cold at the same time, unsure whether Loki is going to be angry about his presence or not. Sometimes his brother snaps, Thor is used to that, but right now he is so worried he doesn’t know if he can stay calm if he does. Loki, however, doesn’t snap. He just stares at Thor with his wide and frightened eyes, holding his hand in an iron grip against his chest.

“I’m sorry,” Thor mumbles an apology that feels too little to himself and looks down. “I didn’t mean to startle you, I was just so relieved you are awake again…”

“Why are you here?” Loki asks, narrowing his brows. Thor feels like someone had thrown him into ice cold water, but in a way, he also understands. He had been gone for months and months, almost a year had passed since they had seen each other the last time. Loki’s reserving behavior makes sense.

“I worried, brother,” Thor says sincerely, looking back up into Loki’s eyes. “When I saw you coming out of that forest I was scared. There was so much blood and you were so pale, so weak… I couldn’t leave you alone like this.”

“Pah, weak,” Loki scoffs and makes a disgusted face. “Since when is it new to you that I am weak? Isn’t this what I always am? Weak, pathetic, a disgrace to Asgard?”

“Loki, have I not told you over and over that I do not share those beliefs about you in the slightest?” Thor asks, hurt by his brother’s words. “Why do you think it would be any different today?”

“Have you not seen what happened?” Loki barks, eyes glaring at the other. “Have you not heard their laughter, their mocking and their teasing? Have you ever heard anything that does not smother your own ego, _brother_?” Loki almost spits the last word out with so much disgust that Thor actually backs away, off the bed.

“Loki,” Thor whispers, fighting for even this one word to leave his mouth.

“Go and celebrate with them, mighty god of thunder!” Loki snarls and pushes himself into a sitting position against the head of the bed. “Go and celebrate that Asgard’s fool has been humiliated once again after saving them from their own ignorance and stupidity! Go and blame me, like they do, that it even came this far! I don’t need your pity, I don’t need anyone’s pity! Laugh about the fool that birthed a foal after saving their lives by luring Svadilfari away so they could break their oath to the builder! Just do it!”

Thor can’t say anything in response to that. He knows how the other gods see Loki, how they see him as an untrustworthy danger they only come to when they need him, but he had never had anything but the utmost respect and love for his brother, no matter what the others said. Yes, Loki was mischievous and difficult, there were even times when he had tried to harm Thor or kill him, but despite all that they are still brothers, aren’t they? And he loves his brother, even if it seems like this feeling is not mutual.

When Thor finally thinks he can speak again he opens his mouth, only to close it again right away when Loki suddenly bends forward and gasps in pain. All the words he had just heard are forgotten when he jumps forward and reaches for his brother’s arm, but again Loki jerks away as if Thor wants to harm him.

“Don’t touch me!” Loki hisses and bends over again, clutching his stomach with an agonizing pain written all over his features. “Just go and laugh about me like everyone else does! Leave me alone…”

“I will never laugh about you,” Thor says, sternly and done with this nonsense Loki is talking about. “Now let me help you, you are in pain.”

“I don’t want your help, Thor!” Loki says and tries to push Thor’s hand away, but his attempt is weak and he can barely do much more than hit him. “I don’t want you to touch me…” Loki bites his bottom lip, tears shimmering in his eyes that he closes as he turns away.

“Let me help you, brother,” Thor says quietly and lays a hand just on Loki’s arm; gentle, careful. “Please, I won’t hurt you, I promise…”

Loki shakes his head, but doesn’t pull away. He’s paralyzed by his pain and shock, Thor assumes. As gentle as he can, Thor lays his hands on Loki’s shoulders and pushes him down into the mattress. Loki’s face grimaces in pain, but he doesn’t protest. When Thor lifts his tunic to look at his stomach, all Loki does is whimper quietly and tremble.

The wound opened again, not much, but enough to cause immense pain it seems. He is about to stand up to get the healers when Loki suddenly grabs his arm and holds him back.

“Don’t… don’t go… please, don’t go away…”

Thor has never heard his brother beg, not like this. Tears roll down his cheeks, his lips are trembling and his hand shaking. He can’t move anymore when he sees him like this, so he sits back down next to him, losing himself in the heartbroken and agonizing pain in Loki’s eyes. It’s minutes they don’t speak or move, but it could be hours and Thor wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.

“I need to get the healers,” Thor finally whispers, unsure of his own plan. “You need help.”

“Not the healers…” Loki whispers and shakes his head slowly. “They… can’t help me…”

“Of course they can, they already did!” Thor protests, but Loki shakes his head again. Left, right, determined and slow.

“Give me your hand,” Loki asks and Thor obliges willingly, not sure what he wants with it. Loki covers his wound with Thor’s palm and closes his eyes. “Seal it.”

“But, Loki, I can’t!” Thor is more than confused now. “I don’t know how to use magic!”

“You don’t have to. Just use mine, but I can’t see,” Loki explains, his face once more cringing from the pain. “You know where it is, just use my magic and seal it.”

Thor nods, unsure if he can do what Loki asks of him. But he has to, his brother is in pain and he needs his help. Thor lifts his hand quickly to examine the wound, then presses his palm over it again and closes his eyes too to concentrate. He can feel something different in his hand, surely Loki’s magic, and tries to focus it where the wound had opened. It feels strange, like his fingers and palm are tingling, but in a good and warm way.

“Did it work?” Loki asks after a few moments and Thor opens his eyes again to answer his question. When he takes his hand back he sees the wound closed again and sighs relieved.

“It did, yes. It’s closed again. How do you feel? Does it still hurt?”

“It’s bearable for what happened,” Loki smirks and opens his eyes again too to look a Thor.

“I’m sorry, Loki,” Thor repeats his former apology, but this time it sounds much sadder. “This shouldn’t have happened. If I would have been back sooner, even just a day… I’m so sorry.”

“What difference does a day make when you were gone for almost a year?” Loki asks sadly and turns his head, towards the window. “The great God of Thunder cannot stay in Asgard all the time, we all know that.”

“I would have never allowed them to do this to you!” Thor says stubbornly, almost shouting. When Loki cringes at his loud voice, however, he lowers them and forces himself to stay calm. “What they did was wrong and you know that…”

“I told them no man could build this wall within a year with no other help than that from a horse,” Loki laughs sarcastically, almost bitter. “Of course they would blame me for this. It's my fault.”

“They shouldn’t have done this…”

“But they did, it happened. I’ll live,” Loki huffs. “It’s not the first time they treat me like a brute.”

“And it’s not the first time they are wrong for doing it,” Thor growls and grits his teeth. “I will speak to the Allfather, this cannot stand!”

“And what will you tell him?” Loki laughs and turns back around, a wicked gleam in his eyes. “That this time they have gone too far? That the one they hate and loathe the most has dignity and that they destroyed it? Do you plan to wake their pity for me, Thor? Because I can assure you they don’t have any, not even the slightest bit. If I would drop dead right this second they would celebrate like never before, we both know it.”

Thor wants to reply, but he knows he can’t argue against anything Loki has said. This is exactly how the other gods feel about him and he hates it with every fiber of his existence.

“I don’t care, Thor,” Loki says, smirking sadly. “I never have, I never will. I am their arch enemy, their nemesis, only welcomed as long as they can laugh about me and find use for me, but I am no different. I would sell them all out if it would benefit me, they know that as much as I do.”

“Would you sell me out too?” Thor asks and Loki’s smirk turns into the saddest smile Thor has ever seen.

“Would you not do the same to me?” he asks. “I am the abomination of Asgard, the Aesir’s curse and their ultimate downfall. You know that as much as I do, why are you asking me this?”

“Because…” Thor swallows, shaking his head. He knows it’s all true, he knows it all too well, but it doesn’t matter to him as much as Loki thinks it does. “Because you are my brother… I would die for you, without questioning why. And if you will be my death one day…”

“What then?”

“Then I will welcome it with open arms,” Thor answers, looking at Loki sincerely. “Whatever they think about you, whatever they say, it’s not what I feel and it will never be. I love you, Loki…”

Thor knows Loki is disloyal, that he only ever does what is beneficial to him and that he won’t hesitate from causing harm to others to put himself in a better position. He knows Loki is an agent of mischief, maybe the impersonation of mischief itself, and that he is the least trustworthy in all the nine realms. He knows what Loki has done and still does, about all those nasty things the other gods whisper about him and how low they see him. But all these things don’t change that Thor loves Loki, loves him dearly, in fact. They don’t change that he would kill for his brother and that he would die for him, without hesitating.

“Love for the worst of the worst,” Loki scoffs and then, with his smile turning less sad, shakes his head. “How can you be so naive, brother? How can you not see that your love for me is wasted and bad?”

“And if it were?” Thor asks, taking Loki’s hand into his own again and entwining their fingers. “What if your words are true, what if it is wasted and bad? Do you believe I want to change how I feel? Do you believe I would laugh with the others or see you as anything but yourself?”

“You should,” Loki chuckles. “Or maybe you are just as ugly on the inside as I am. Maybe you are just as wicked and evil and cunning and no one has found out yet…”

“If I love the wickedest of them all, maybe I am a little wicked myself,” Thor smiles and that, finally, makes Loki laugh. It’s a quiet laugh, restrained and careful, but it’s what Thor had missed over the last months more than anything else.

“How come you do not see me like them?” Loki eventually asks, surprisingly without any form of mockery in his voice. “You know the same things about me, you know of my treason, my betrayals, my antics… you know all the worst parts of me, how come you do not share their beliefs?”

“Because I know there is more to you than what you show on the outside,” Thor says gently. “You are cunning and cruel sometimes and you are never on the same side for two days in a row, but there is something else. That foal, for example…”

“Sleipnir,” Loki whispers quietly, sadness returning to his eyes as he looks away. “His name is Sleipnir…”

“Sleipnir then,” Thor nods. “You brought him with you. You could have left him to die, but you didn’t. You were bleeding, in pain and hurt, closer to death than life, and you still brought him with you so he would not die. Tell me, how does this indicate you are evil and bad?”

“He’s my son,” Loki simply says and turns his head to look at Thor. There is a sudden pride in his eyes that makes Thor feel warm inside. “I never wanted this, I planned to turn back before this could happen, but Svadilfari was too fast…”

“Loki…” Thor grabs his brother’s hand tighter as he smiles at him.

“It hurt, brother… it hurt so much, but I knew it was either this or death by the gods… I had not much of a choice, so I let it happen…”

“My God, Loki…” Thor doesn’t care for any protest right now, he pulls his brother into his arms, completely stunned and shocked. He can feel Loki shake in his arms, but he still holds onto him and Thor buries his face against Loki’s shoulder. “I had no idea… I’m so sorry, brother…”

“I’m the one who should feel sorry,” Loki mumbles, clinging to Thor’s strong arms that almost squeeze him. “I never meant harm when I encouraged them on their oath, I honestly didn’t know…”

“How could you have known? This horse was a beast!” Thor shudders from the thought alone of this creature coming close to his brother and from imagining how Loki must have felt when he had gone even further. “This isn’t your fault, Loki… you did some awful things but not this, you didn’t know.”

“I was so scared, Thor,” Loki whispers and presses his face against Thor’s shoulder, crying. “I couldn’t even scream, if I would have turned back he would have crushed me to death…”

“Shh, it’s okay,” Thor whispers and presses a gentle, soothing kiss on Loki’s collarbone. “It’s over now, no one will hurt you anymore. I won’t let anything like this happen ever again, I swear.”

“They will shun you for even being here, you should just leave,” Loki mumbles, but contrary to his words he doesn’t push Thor away physically. “I'm not worth it…”

“Let them shun me,” Thor huffs, brushing a hand through Loki’s hair gently, almost cautiously. “I have allowed this for far too long already, I will not stay silent anymore.”

“Oh, you foolish oaf,” Loki laughs, so long that Thor actually pulls back a little and looks at him. “Do you want to fall from their grace too? Because this is what will happen if you side with their worst, brother. No matter who you are, they will not forgive this kind of crime.”

“Why would their praise and acceptance mean more to me than you, Loki?” Thor asks, furrowing his brows. “Let them shun me, let them call me a traitor and a disgrace, I will not care. What they have done to you over and over again is wrong and I cannot stand it any longer.”

“You, too, played your part in this,” Loki reminds him painfully, smirking cruelly. “Who helped that nasty little dwarf sewing my lips shut?”

“I did,” Thor admits ashamed and lowers his head.

“Was it fun at least?” Loki asks, a judging undertone in his voice that increases Thor’s guilt more than he likes. “Was it fun to have a few days of silence while I fought to pull those strings out and couldn’t speak anymore? While I was bleeding and in pain, unable to ask for help?”

“Loki, please,” Thor groans, almost as if he’s in physical pain. And in a way he is, because this memory hurts him so much, even though years and years have passed since then. “I’m sorry for what I did to you, I have no excuse and nothing can ever be good enough to excuse what I did…”

“No, it cannot,” Loki says, but in a surprisingly warm and kind way. “I am not your friend, Thor. I am not your ally. I am not even someone you should trust half-heartedly, if you are smart.”

“Maybe I’m not smart,” Thor says and looks up, earning a smirk.

“Oh, I know you are not,” Loki huffs. “But you make a big mistake by taking my side. You will regret it.”

“Then let me regret it.”

Loki sighs and looks at Thor with a patience and disapproval the god of thunder finds amusing. As if they both would not know about the things Loki had done, or that Thor had done in return. He knows he is naive and probably dumb trusting Loki and taking his side, but everything in him screams against the treatment his brother - adopted, but no less of a brother - had been put through in the past. He is ashamed to have ever been a part of this, but he would not be any longer, not if he had a choice in it.

“I will ruin you,” Loki says with a smile and lays a hand on Thor’s scruff cheek. “One day I will be your end and the end of the gods alike…”

“I don’t care,” Thor replies, smiling too. He takes Loki’s hand, placing a tender kiss on his fingertips. “Let Ragnarok come and if you will be my death, I will not fight you. We know the prophecy, we all do, and if it unfolds like that I won’t die fighting you.”

“If you don’t die in battle you will fight your friends and family alongside me,” Loki says surprised, but Thor still just smiles. “Dying like this will take you to Hel, not Valhalla…”

“Then that’s how it shall be,” he answers and leans forward, sealing Loki’s cold lips with his own. It’s a cautious touch, almost questioning, but Loki lets it happen and smiles at the sweet gesture. “I shall die by your hand just to fight by your side in the end. Isn’t this how it was always going to be?”

“If I am honest, nothing would please me more than to fight by your side til the very end of everything,” Loki smiles warmly. “Now, tell me, god of thunder, traitor of the Asgardian gods… how is my son? Is he still alive or was he slaughtered like I fear he was?”

“He is very well,” Thor laughs and brings their foreheads together by grabbing Loki’s neck and pulling him closer. “When you feel well enough we will visit him, I promise.”

“You are not making fun of me?” Loki asks, but Thor shakes his head, still smiling brightly.

“He is beautiful and magnificent, just like you are,” Thor laughs, kissing Loki again on those perfect and addictive lips. Despite everything, he feels more content and happy than ever before. He had just promised Loki to die by his hands and to fight with him against everyone he knows but he does not feel any guilt this time. It feels like the right thing and better than anything else he has ever done. “Recover, Loki. And then we shall visit your wonderful offspring together.”

“You will never learn,” Loki laughs, but still allows Thor to keep kissing him. The most surprising turn of events is that he had not planned any of this, nor had he ever dreamed of it. Thor had made a decision and Loki didn’t know before this moment that this was what he had wished for all along. If only Thor was on his side, anything else didn’t matter.


End file.
